Let’s face it, women are not always easy to pleasure, nor are they easy to please. I know this because I am a woman, plus I’ve experienced sex with a number of women and wow, we certainly are all very unique in how we experience pleasure.
If you’re reading this and relate, I’m here to give you a couple of simple tips and tricks that will increase the pleasure that your woman experiences when she is with you next. This article is for both men and women who love pleasuring women.
It sounds so damn simple and yet presence really is an acquired skill. Presence begins with self, so, if you want to be fully present with your lover, I suggest you begin noticing how present you can be with your self.
Women are turned on by a present lover. We naturally surrender and flow during sex when our lover can hold space, witness without judgement and simply be with us in the present moment.
No phones. No social media. No television. No laptops. Just you and your lover.
Practice deep presence by using your eyes. When you are enjoying sex use your eyes to let your woman know that you are there with her in that moment. Even if her eyes are closed, and she is in her own little world, be present and witness her. Keep your eyes on her at all times. When she eventually opens her eyes again, and sees you are there with her, she will melt.
#2 Let go of the need to reach orgasm
I know, I know … there’s plenty in the media about experiencing ‘mind-blowing orgasms’ and ‘ecstatic peak experiences’. Fact is, sex isn’t ALL about orgasm … in fact if we want to experience deeply pleasurable connected sex, orgasm is but a very small part of the bigger picture.
Take out your need to reach orgasm (for BOTH of you) and instead bring all of your awareness and focus onto your woman’s body. Touch her body as though you are worshipping a temple, her pussy being the temple gate. Presence, presence, presence. Conscious, loving touch. Every. Single. Time.
Remember, avoid touching her with the focus on ‘bringing her to orgasm’, instead allow her body and soul to flow however it flows, and unfold however it wants. Orgasm isn’t always a peak experience, in fact, orgasm is a state that we feel in our body and can begin from the moment we begin our love-making session. So, let go of the ‘end goal’, and allow the sexual energy to flow however it wants.
‘But what’s the point if we don’t cum?’ - this is a common question. The point of sex with your woman is to connect. It’s to experience ecstatic intimacy with each other … it’s to witness her in her pleasure. It’s not a race to the finish line.
#3 Stay with your woman for as long as she needs after sex
Most women are familiar with the following scene - they have sex with their partner and as soon as orgasm is reached the man (or woman) jumps up, takes off the condom, and hops in the shower. Or worse, falls asleep immediately. Argggggggg this situation really gets on women’s nerves!
When you have made love to your woman (or fucked her silly, doesn’t matter which one), lay with her and be present with her afterwards. Presence is always going to keep a woman happy. So, next time you’re ready to jump up and get on with your day, or roll over to sleep, I challenge you to simple ‘be’ with your woman until she is ready to part ways.
Want to read more about deep intimacy and pleasure, purchase my eBook ECSTATIC SEX & DEEP INTIMACY: How To Live A Tantric Life In A Modern World