We all want to be experiencing great sex, right? Most of us dream of experiencing lots of fun, healthy, connected, ecstatic sex, preferably on a daily basis … unfortunately though, most of us aren’t experiencing sex this way. One of the big reasons for this is most likely because the majority of us have never been educated about why communication is so important.
So, why is communication with our lovers/partners so important? It’s important because it gives us an opportunity to talk about the following:
- What we enjoy/don’t enjoy sexually
- How we do/don’t experience orgasmic energy
- What our boundaries are. Example: “At this stage in our relationship anal sex is a no-go. So my boundary is you don’t touch me there.”
- What sex PROVIDES for us. Example: “Sex provides connection - physically & spiritually I feel deeply connected to you when we make love.”
- How we enjoy sex being initiated
- What our fears are around sex/intimacy/connection
- Contraception choices - get clear on this early on to avoid confusion mid-way during sex. It’s essential that we talk to our partners about STI’s, contraception and condom usage
I’ve recently come on board as Durex Australia’s new sexologist to support the recent launch of The Durex Great Aussie Sex Survey (2018), which has revealed some fascinating insights into Australia’s sex habits. According to the survey, half of Aussies are rarely – or even never – using contraception when having sex*.
The survey discovered that more than half (58 per cent) of Australians say that a fear of ‘ruining the moment’ stops them from enjoying sex with a condom, while almost one third of Australians (30 per cent) who don’t tend to bring condoms on a date attribute this to not wanting to seem ‘too presumptuous’. This shows just how important it is for us to be having these conversations prior to jumping in bed. And, if we don’t have the conversation prior, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with bringing it up any time during sex, too.
Reality is, clear, healthy and direct communication is absolutely essential for healthy, connected sex. There’s nothing sexier than an empowered individual who can confidently communicate what they need to keep them safe - both physically, emotionally and spiritually (i.e. putting their hand up to use a condom etc). And on a side note, ‘sex talk’ can feel super sexy and is often a turn-on, with many couples using it as foreplay. So, get to it people!
This post is sponsored by Durex Australia. All non-Durex information is the opinion of the author. ALWAYS READ THE LABEL. USE ONLY AS DIRECTED.
*52.2% of Aussies don’t use any form of contraception when having sex according to an independent study of 1,000 sexually active Australians aged 16-years and above, conducted in 2018.