Last weekend my partner and I attended a two day Kundalini Tantra workshop in Melbourne. I was drawn to the workshop months ago when I began working with Chantelle Boscarello & Simon Martin, Tantra practitioners and founders of ELIYAH. Spending two days alongside these two powerhouses is always a privilege, and welcoming Kundalini Tantra into my life and relationship has been nothing less than transformational.
Kundalini Tantra is, in a nutshell, a practice that involves integrating and understanding both the masculine and feminine energy within us all (masculine and feminine qualities are within both female and male bodies), and gives us the magical skill of being able to circulate the kundalini energy within our body to become lighter, deeper and freer lovers and human beings. I’m a big fan of anything that brings freedom and connectedness into my life and relationships, and this workshop did just that (and so much more).
Kundalini Tantra is such a fascinating topic, and brings such magic to relationships, intimacy, sex, and life itself. Today I want to share two simple realisations I had on the weekend, realisations that I believe most people reading this will relate to at some stage throughout their lives.
I’ve closed down my heart because of my fear of abandonment
It’s pretty vulnerable for me to admit this, but I’ve realised that my heart has been pretty damn closed since about 14 years of age. I’ve always felt like I could ‘do life alone’ and didn’t need a partner who I love by my side. What I now see clearly is that I’ve unconsciously pushed people away (namely my lovers and partners) because I have an unconscious fear of abandonment. Now that I can see how this plays out in my life, I can be aware of this fear, and instead of closing my heart, I can work on opening it and allowing my beloved to teach me that I am worthy of love and won’t be abandoned if I let love in. BIG realisation!
For sex to be amazing, there needs to be a polarity between the masculine and feminine
This goes for heterosexual and same-sex couples. The healthy masculine listens, holds, witnesses and protects. The healthy feminine receives, surrenders, expresses, nurtures and flows. For the feminine to surrender during sex, the masculine has to hold space in order for her flower to unfold. And likewise, for the masculine to witness, protect and hold space, the feminine has to surrender, nurture and flow.
Ask myself, what would love do now?
I’ve learnt that when I’m in conflict with my beloved, or my daughter, or my friends and family, I need to ask myself, “What would love do now?”. When I ask myself this, I sit and wait for answer, and when the answer comes I act from my heart. Simple as that.