Sex is supposed to be a fun, playful and pleasurable activity, right? Unfortunately sex is often associated with worry, anxiety and concern and many people are left wondering how they can make sex a more fun and enjoyable experience. With this in mind, I have come up with simple advice on how you can play more and worry less in the bedroom.
Firstly, just kiss. That’s right, JUST KISS. Sounds easy, but often we are so used to jumping the gun and racing to the finish line that the simple act of kissing is left behind. I suggest setting up a time frame at the start of your sex sesh where there is a ban on anything other than kissing. And I mean just kissing. No touching, grinding or licking. See how long you can last; you’ll be surprised how much of a turn-on it can be abstaining from sex.
Secondly, stop worrying about your body. It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about what your body looks and feels like when being intimate with your sexual partner. The truth is, the only person who is worrying about how you look is you! If you jump into bed with someone the least sexy thing you can do is point out your flaws! Keep your bodily concerns to yourself, embrace your amazing curves, bumps and scars just the way they are, and focus on the excitement and fun that sex can bring into your life. There is nothing sexier than a confident sexual partner!
Thirdly, talk about what turns you on. Don’t be afraid to talk about what pleasures you and what you want to do and experiment with in the bedroom! Now that you’ve talked about it, try it. Many people worry about whether what they are into sexually is weird or abnormal. Reality is there are no rights and wrongs when it comes to sexual pleasure; as long as there are consensual adults and no one is harmed, then I say go for it!
And finally, relax. I know it’s easier said than done, but it can make a whole lot of difference if you allow yourself to relax and enjoy the playful and fun side of sex. Remember, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to have sex and there is no one grading you on the experience! Embrace each and every sexual experience as a new adventure and an integral part of your sexual life journey. Go on, worry less and play more, I know you want to.
This article was published on Ansell Australia 23 June, 2014.