“Sooner or later relationship brings us to our knees, forcing us to confront the raw and rugged mess of our mental and emotional life.”
- George Orwell
When we choose to be in romantic relationship with another human, we choose to bare our soul and open our heart… all the while knowing that it may not work, it may not be the ‘forever fairytale’ we heard of as children, and it may, in the end, break our fu*cking heart to tiny little pieces. Yet knowing all this, we still enter into relationship… because there’s nothing quite like love and sex and all the fun stuff that relationship entails.
So why then are relationships so damn challenging? If you’re reading this thinking “Hard?! Relationships aren’t hard!”, then you’re one of the very few who are in the so-called ‘perfect’ partnership. Reality is, sharing our life with someone, with all the joy and happiness that it brings, also brings much pain and is by far the fastest way to grow spiritually.
When we share our life with our partner, we open up… we often open up so much that all-of-a-sudden we freak the f*ck out… and we close off. We do this because opening up means we allow our partner to see our wounds, our shadows and our dark side, and let’s be honest, this certainly isn’t always pretty. Instead of facing the dark side, we close off and we want to run the hell away and push it all down and not go head-to-head with our past conditioning and shit that we carry from our childhood.
After all,our fear of not being loved always stems from our childhood. And we all feel it to a certain extent. Our fear of abandonment, intimacy and connection is deep conditioning and wounding that we carry with us throughout our life and through many relationships.
My challenge to you (and recently to myself), is to face that fear HEAD ON. Stop avoiding it, stop thinking you can escape it… step into your power and face it. You may feel terrified just reading this, and that’s ok. But what if your only path to freedom is to deal with the shitty stuff that is holding you back? What if instead of running, this time you stay… and you sit in the pain… and you commit to moving through it with your partner by your side so that you can be the love that you want to be, and have the relationship that you want to have. Because after all, love ain’t easy, but it’s God damn worth it.
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