Talking about sex is still somewhat ‘taboo’ and it’s not surprising that there are plenty of false myths that surround the topic of sex and intimacy. As a sexologist I am regularly busting these myths with my clients and helping people let go of limiting belief systems and ways of being. Doing so allows people to move forward and enjoy sex (without all the shame, guilt and misunderstanding that once was). With this in mind, it’s time to publicly debunk some of the common myths that surround the topic of sex in our culture:
Myth #1 Women who want and enjoy sex are ‘slutty’
This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Having a healthy appetite for sex means that you are a healthy and happy woman. It annoys me to think that women are still being shunned for wanting to experience pleasure and sexual satisfaction in their lives. It’s time for women to own their sexuality and sexual appetite (and by doing so they will empower other women to do the same).
Myth #2: Most women can reach orgasm through vaginal penetration alone
This is far from the truth. Porn is responsible for giving us the false assumption that all women reach orgasm within minutes of vaginal penetration. This may be the case for a very small percentage of women, but for the rest of us, orgasm doesn’t always come so easily. The fact is, approximately 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach climax. I’m talking direct (using hands or toys) or indirect (find a position that stimulates your clitoris) stimulation. Ladies, feel free to reach down and simultaneously stimulate yourself while being penetrated. In other words, take control of your own orgasm!
Myth #3 Men enjoy self-pleasure more than women
This is a load of c*^p. Men talk about masturbation a whole lot more than women…but the fact is, women are enjoying masturbation just as much as men (we just don’t boast about it to our friends). I work with, and am friends with, many women who openly admit that self-pleasure features heavily in their daily routine. Giving yourself permission to enjoy self-pleasure, whilst allowing yourself to explore your body, is normal and natural. After all, if a woman can’t pleasure her self, how can she expect others to know how?
This article was published in Juliet's regular Saturday column in the Gold Coast Bulletin 21st March 2015