Here’s the thing about date-night – you go to a restaurant, you drink some wine, you laugh, you flirt, you eat and the plan is to have sex at the end of the night, right?
Then you get home and all you really want to do is lie, quietly, on your back and not move because you ate too much, drank too much, and you are feeling slightly (ahem) ‘tooty’.
When I was given the brief to try out a personal lubricant, I thought: SURELY YOU JEST – I DON’T NEED LUBRICANT. I WILL SLIDE OFF THE BED WITH MORE LUBRICANT.
Perhaps lubricant has been made specifically for date-night? Because on date-night, I needed it.
First of all, my partner is a wonderful lover. The only reason I needed the ‘lube’ on date-night was because, quite frankly, the idea of sex was as remote as… a very remote thing. I had food and alcohol induced apathy. (It’s a thing.)
My partner ripped off the packaging with his teeth. (Actually not really. We used scissors.) Then he read the instructions. I picked up a book from the bedside table.
He opened the bottle, smelled it, and tentatively squeezed the lotion on. (I put the book down because I thought I should touch it too, to see what it felt like.) It felt pretty much like my usual, natural, ‘juices’, which rather surprised me. (I’m a novice. I always expect weird things to happen.)
And here’s my hint for anyone trying lube for the first time – GO. EASY.
Once lover started playing around, inserting fingers, and having all sorts of fun, I forgot I was blown up like a beach-ball and I generated my own lubricant… It all got a bit ridiculous and we had to get a towel. But let’s just say that without that lubricant, the evening would have finished with me picking up that book, and not putting it down again.
“Sylk Natural Personal Lubricant.” Available at most supermarkets and chemists.
Cost: between $12.99 and $19.99. Rating: Five Stars.
Written by Anonymous.