Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Ali about her love of anal sex, what her Mum taught her about boundaries and orgasm, how sex inspires her creativity, and her daily self-pleasure ritual.
Name: Ali Webber
I'm an adventurer, full of love and young hormones ... so I'm exploring the bodies of both men and women. I'm just plain sexual.
Occupation: Student, partner, daughter and money slave waitress person.
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
Avoid those that wear white shoes, drink water, be a Girl Scout so you can survive, be strong mentally, physically and emotionally ... remember to cry. On the subject of sexual boundaries - "get licked before you lick them". Set boundaries, otherwise you'll only dig yourself a hole with no orgasms. She also taught me to avoid clitoral stimulation and to focus on internal sexual arousal.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
When I left the wings of my Mother, and fell in love with my present partner. He showed me what it was like to be a woman. He let me learn and explore. We grew together.
I think a big moment was the first time I properly experienced orgasm too.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
It's a really important aspect of my everyday life. Sexual integrity is everything to a woman ... we are the gateways to the afterworld and bring life to all ... we are powerful beings.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
It's a daily ritual - time to myself, a sensual activity that relieves stress and insecurities, plus it brings peace into my own relationships. It's beyond an orgasmic experience.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
MY BUM: I love my bum, and all that it provides ... it gets me laid, cushions my falls and gives me some of the best orgasms I've ever experienced. Anal sex rocks my socks off. But it has gotten me in some sticky situations hahahah.
MY EYES & MY HANDS: I'm an observer, I love the chemistry of sitting in silence with eye contact. My eyes help me reconnect without words and help me fall in love. Touch is my number one favourite thing ever.
MY VAGINA: I have never liked the look of it ... society has told me that I have a 'perfect' vagina now, but I never liked the look, or the feelings it would give me when I was younger. Having sex with men has never gone smoothly for me, either tearing me or experiencing such pain that I'd just have to stop.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Hands, scent, eyes.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
Everyday, anywhere and any time and place. Hahahah always ready to play. When I'm active and healthy I'm always ready.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
My mother and some very close girlfriends. Also all the authors, podcasts and studies I have discovered in learning how be a sexually empowered young female in the the 21st century.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies?
I have so many it's almost unbelievable ... but these are the top two.
SKYDIVING: I wake up to a blind fold over my eyes and ears covered so I can't hear. We drive for a while with hot coco and wooly warm cloths ... until we stop. He ties my hands to my chest, ties my hair up, places a beanie on my head, and then a helmet. Confused I ask what's going on but no reply. I feel myself as he is strapping himself behind me and attempts to enter me without any warning. With a nervous sigh he fills me. And it literally feels as if we are flying ... a few minutes minutes pass, I can feel the wind in my hair, him in my belly and this horrifying feeling that I'm about to dye ... as he removes the blindfold I am faced with a 1400 foot free fall, as my ears burn and I'm about to climax my deepest fantasies have come to life, I'm free falling with the love of my life. As the parachute pulls open ...
RESTING IN SHAVASANA: I am a Yoga instructor in a simple white room with wooden floor boards and warm light. It's a class of 13 people. But there's one person I can't keep my eyes from (j). We are half way through the class as I walk around and place a heated sand weight over everyone's eyes. As I place the last bag upon (j) eyes I remove my clothing. As I go deeper and deeper into the meditation, I ride upon this God like human ... he completely surrenders and lets me do as I please. Everyone is breathing deep, no Idea or aware of what's going on right besides them. They are giving me permission to release ... I finish and put my tights and bra back on. Returning to the front of the room, ending the meditation class and trying to avoid a giggle or eye contact with the man that I had just connected with in such a empowering dream-like moment. He is looking at me sweating from head to toe, confused and a little distressed, emasculated and very turned on.
As he leaves the room I notice him holding a fist full of something ... my favourite underpants, as he walks pass me and glances my way, he whispers "I'll return these next time".
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
I paint to make love when I can't make love ... but then I make love to inspire my painting. So my art and love making inspire one another.
How can people connect with you?
FB: Ali Webber