Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Jess about how she learn to embrace her womanly curves, the night she officially entered womanhood, her reoccurring sexual fantasy, and her underwear secrets.
Name: Jess Cochrane
For the most part, heterosexual. Occasional bisexual tendencies/fantasies. Overall just sexual.
Occupation: Visual Artist
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
I don’t really recall my mum ever verbally giving me any stellar advice as a little girl, maybe apart from “make sure you are being safe”. But I think as I hit the confusing teenage years there was more of an unspoken language between us in which she said “it's okay to be sexual” without ever actually speaking those words. It was more that she would allow friends to stay over and provide me with a safe space to grow up in, and not ever question me.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I feel like I officially entered womanhood only recently. Like a year or two ago. I think when I started to consider other women's emotions in situations, I really allowed myself to step into it. There was an evening involving a boy who I am very fond of. He’s very fond of me too, and also fond of many other women. You could describe him as player. This particular evening I remember being really hurt by his actions. He was with another woman that night but still pursued me. I felt more angry at him about acting slyly towards the other woman involved. I went on to tell him that if he cared about this woman, or any woman in general, he shouldn't be sly. The situation was upsetting but my heart stood with the other woman, not him. I woke up the next day with a sense of strength. That was it.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
I think it is super important. I think it can be directly related to your inner happiness. I know that when I'm taking the time to embrace myself and learn about myself sexually that I feel far more positive and in tune with myself and my needs as a whole.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
SO IMPORTANT. If I don't know how to turn myself on, or connect with myself ,how the actual fuck is anyone else supposed to know? Self-pleasure is the key to the soul.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
One- My curves. I spent so much of my life hating that I don't have washboard abs and don't look like Miranda Kerr. My mental health journey can be traced back to the extreme pressure I put on myself and the perfectionism within my appearance. These days I’m bloody glad I have the same shape as a coke bottle. I think my curves are incredible. My body is a work of art. It’s a masterpiece.
Two- My breasts. They are big. For a long time I thought they were only useful for holding my iPod at the gym. I now realise how beautiful and powerful it is to have full, perky boobies.
Three- My hands. I used to think my hands weren't dainty enough. Some people have really beautiful hands. I’ve always thought mine were just average. When I started painting full time I realised how special my hands are. No other hands in the world can touch a brush to a canvas like mine. They are one of a kind. They have the ability to touch and make others feel good. They are covered in little tattoos and they are the absolute best.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Respect and appreciation, above all else. An open mind and a mental connection, as well as physical.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
I don't think I’ve ever needed inspiration. I think its always just been an intrinsic thing for me. I feel lucky to have always been very in touch with my sexuality. I think I’m usually more sexually inclined in the afternoon and well into the night though.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
All of them.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies?
Recently I’ve had a reoccurring fantasy of being held and embraced during sex. Actually ... not even necessarily during sex. Just being held. The man in the fantasy remains a mystery as you only see the back of his head. He has dark brown hair and a muscular back. His arms are wrapped around me as I sit on top of him. In this fantasy, I feel safe and loved. The other fantasy I often have is getting pushed against a wall and fucked from behind. No gentle love-making. Just straight up animalistic fucking. Biting, choking, spanking, moaning, dirty and completely unbridled sex.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
I moisturise every damn day. It’s a good excuse to feel yourself up while you're taking care of your skin. I also only wear underwear that makes me feel sexy. Lots of cheeky sets under unassuming outfits. It’s like having a juicy secret. I also think that taking self portraits or nude selfies is a great way learn to appreciate your body.
How can people connect with you?
I am super active on Instagram - @jesscochranepaints_
My website - jesscochrane.com