Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Jessica about her love of women, how her moon cycle influences her drive for sex, her BDSM sexual fantasy, and her desire for deep profound connection.
Sexual Orientation: I'm Bisexual. I am open and flowing when it comes to my sexuality, it’s not about gender but about attraction, connection & energy.
Occupation: Kundalini Yoga Teacher & Spiritual Reader
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
My parents never spoke about sex to me when I was a young girl, it wasn’t until I was staying over at my boyfriend's house after his band practice all the time that my mother started to mention it to me ... but the talk was only about contraception and not the actual act of sex. So my initial message was that it was something I needed to find out about for myself and I pretty much dedicated my teenage years to exploring sex.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I felt like a woman from a young teen, I was really connected to my sexuality from a young age and that made me feel like I embodied the energy of a woman rather than a teenager. I remember slow dancing to myself in front of the mirror feeling like a woman when I was around fifteen. Though becoming a mother took womanhood to a whole new level.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
I feel it’s so important - when I am not in tune with my sexuality, or ignoring my desires and needs, I'm shutting down the general flow of my creative life energy and I have problems manifesting my reality. When my creative life force is flowing and I am feeling sexual and magical life flows like a dream.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
It’s a big part of my personal self care ritual. Self pleasure to me comes in so many different forms of pleasure, from taking a long hot shower or bath, giving myself massage with oils, to intimately connecting with myself through masturbation. I go through phases of what I want and what I enjoy and I love learning new ways to turn myself on. I love exploring orgasm with myself, I love making love to myself.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
I wouldn’t say that there are particular parts of my body ... I love every millimetre of my body! Though I have had times, especially after the birth of my son, where for a few months I felt disconnected from self love. After the birth of my daughter though I felt so empowered and beautiful, like an absolute goddess ... that feeling hasn’t left me since.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Deep profound connection, an open heart & confidence.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
Yes for sure - it's definitely related to where I am in my moon cycle. I find that around the time I am ovulating I feel so sexual, everything turns me on, even the slightest things drive me sexually crazy, things that normally wouldn’t as well. I feel like I am exuding so much sexual energy and could create anything in the world. When I am pre-menstrual I find that I can be more emotional and moody and it’s harder to connect to my sexual energy, it takes more effort. I'm inspired to make love by connecting with others, I LOVE talking to lovers and friends about all things sex related, I feel that can be really inspiring.
What turns you on ... like REALLY turns you on?
When a girl is wearing no bra, especially if it is under something semi sheer ... seriously such a turn on. Sometimes, well a lot of the time, I wear no bra to turn myself on. I am turned on incredibly by the smallest of things - like a smile from a lover, or a conversation about how much we want to fuck each other. I am also so turned on by imagining and playing out scenarios in my mind about what it would be like to have a sexual connection with someone I am crushing on. I have a good imagination.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
I am inspired by so many of my girlfriends, in particular my best friend and the way that she navigates many years of marriage and sex with her husband, I find that just so inspiring.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
I have a fantasy about having a BDSM party that turns into an orgy with a bunch of beautiful women. Most of my other sexual fantasies will arise from each person I connect with ... I really desire connection before fantasy comes alive for me. When there is that connection with someone I begin to become fuelled with fantasy and desire. I will usually talk about my fantasies with a lover which usually entail some form of domination, though sometimes not. More often than not I fantasise about making deep passionate love.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
I mentioned a few above but a practice of yoga and meditation daily in whatever form that comes is integral for my own self care and self love, when my body is strong and my mind is clear it’s easy to love myself.
How can people connect with you?
Insta - @ceremony__x