Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Dorottya about the moment she entered womanhood, her stretch marks, the women in her life who inspire her most, what she seeks in a lover and her self-love practices.
Name: Dorottya Varga
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
I wish I could remember.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I was at this Lord-of-The-Rings type of camp when I was 13. I was an Amazon for three weeks. Gathering with other Amazons in the woods in the middle of the night, sharing secrets, planning great plans. On a lower scale.
On a higher; when I weaned my son and suddenly realised that the real, raw and wild me is still alive. Except now I also have mother's wisdom.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
I'm currently finding out that it is almost the most important aspect of understanding myself. My sex-language is a mirror to my entire emotional life.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
Not a frequent user, but definitely a user ;)
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
1. My stretch marks. When I was a teen I was so ashamed of them. Since giving birth to my son I learned to see my body in a different light. More for what it's been through, what it has overcome, and what it has achieved (instead of constantly thriving for some kind of perfection I didn't even come up with in the first place).
2. My hair.
3. And the fact that no matter how skinny I get, I always have some boobs. Ha!
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Are you willing to stay open minded in every possible situation?
Can you communicate your needs and your feelings?
Do you enjoy giving as much as receiving?
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
I'm an extremely moody human. There isn't a particular time for me that always works. Little things can inspire in the most random ways. I'm definitely into deep intellectual conversations though.
What turns you on ... like REALLY turns you on?
When I can feel it on someone that they are fully present and all attention is on me. There isn't beginnings or endings. Almost as if a cool conversation would be the same as fucking.
I'm also very aesthetic. I enjoy a beautiful person. I'm easily turned on visually.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
Katie Vigos of Empowered Birth Project is one of the most real and raw women I personally know. She is a total goddess, an absolute badass mother of three, and smart as fuck. She's been with her husband for twelve years and you can still feel the heat between them. One can really sense it on Katie that she loves herself. And what can be more inspiring than that.
My friend Alexa Piqué. Alexa is an artist and also just a badass of a woman. She loved herself fifteen pounds ago and she loves herself now. Her openness to embrace change and flow with the power of transformation is something I live for. Just watching her continuously blossom as a sexual woman has a big impact on me.
Alison Love, photographer. So neverendingly conscious and free. As a mother it's a struggle often to really be able to explore with awareness and openness, yet she makes it look like a piece of cake.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
Well. Since you asked. I'm a good girl. I like to be treated accordingly ;)
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
I consume Ganja, do sweat lodges, and sit with Ayahuasca.
How can people connect with you? IG? FB? Website?
IG - @dorideer