Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Ivirlei about her love of sexy lingerie, what she loves most about her body, her journey into womanhood, her boudoir style bedroom and her self-love routine.
Name: Ivirlei Brookes (pronounced: Eye-Ver-Lee)
Sexual Orientation: For the most part, heterosexual
Occupation: Actress/Director/ Entrepreneur
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I can’t pinpoint the moment but the time period was within the last 3 years or so. I still had a lot of shame surrounding my sexuality and I wanted to be free of it, so I went on a quest to push my own boundaries. I explored Tantra, and I even dabbled in being a recreational dominatrix for a bit. I even went to classes at an actual dungeon and studied under a mistress.
I faced a lot of my fears and things that are widely considered taboo for me growing up. It was that time period where I learned how to harness my own power as a woman, not just sexually. I became more confident in my ability to ask for what I want and demand it in and outside of the bedroom.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
It's one of the most important parts of being a woman. We bring life to this world. We are powerful. We should be looking at sex as a beautiful and self loving experience. Our sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. I think every woman should embark on the journey of celebrating herself enough to harness her sexual power. Freedom in sexuality translates into creativity flowing more freely and gives us the ability to express ourselves more authentically.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
It’s mandatory in order to live a healthy life. I'm a huge fan of porn, but either way I think it’s important to take some time to yourself. Self pleasure releases stress but also keeps me in touch with the feminine parts of myself. I can be very masculine in a lot of ways, so self pleasure helps me to be softer and hone into my sensuality.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
My butt. I used to be a little ashamed of the curvature but now I celebrate it and am a little obsessed with it.
My legs: I ran track and was a cheerleader for many years so that muscle memory has served me well.
My hands: I’ve always had my dads hands. They always look like I’ve been working hard since I was a kid.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Emotional Openness: Being able to express himself openly is sexy.
Passion: Truly being able to be in the moment without holding back.
Adventurous nature: Unafraid to try anything.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
The deep connection and attraction to my current partner fires me up every time. It doesn’t have to be a time of day. Lingerie is a huge inspiration for me. I love to go all out with garter belts etc, it feels amazing to wear. I’m inspired by the boudoir environment I’ve created in my room. Candles, oils, soft colours, music playlists, candlelit baths and palo santo.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
You, Juliet Allen, for sure! You embody so much sensuality and strength at the same time.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
I definitely fantasise about group situations a lot.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
A good therapist. Facials and manicures. I get massages regularly too. Outside of that, I believe self care is setting boundaries, correcting any negative habits, knowing its okay to say no, and just making sure my emotional needs are being met.
How can people connect with you?
Instagram is @ivirlei