Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. I interviewed Alexa about self-pleasure, the women in her life who inspire her sexually and her sexual reiki fantasy.
Occupation: Artist & Art Editor at Tribe De Mama
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
Sex was never discussed with my mom, and I only became truly comfortable enough to talk to her about it after moving out at age 22.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
When I became able to make decisions corresponding to my sexuality and my body on my own, and without the influence of society, my parents, my boyfriend etc… For example, I stopped shaving my armpit hair a few years ago for no reason other than for myself. It makes me feel beautiful!
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
I believe it to be as important as you feel it should. For some, sexuality isn’t so important. For me, it is everything! I eat, breathe, speak with my sexuality completely on the forefront of my existence. This is what feels most natural and free to me, it is what allows my body and my mind to feel alive.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
Very … I recently posted something on Tribe De Mama's @feminineyouth IG handle about self-pleasure for young women. If I can quote myself: “Why should another person get to know me before I know myself?” I think it’s crucial to be self-aware and evolve with our bodies, and truly get to know ourselves in our most vulnerable state. It’ll also help us ask for, explain, talk about, and know about our sexual preferences, since we have experienced pleasure through ourselves.
What are three things you love about your body?
I love my lips, my hands, and my stomach.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
I look for open-mindedness, intellectual/creative stimulation, and beautiful hands.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
I enjoy and desire sex always, however when I am experiencing my ideal self, I am of course more inclined to crave it; when I am in the sun and nature, and living in an environment which resonates with me most, and when I am creating, whether it is painting, designing, cooking...
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
Yes! My two closest girl friends Catherine and Cara are extremely sexually empowered and independent. Though, I spend a lot of time online and am forever thankful for the wonderful women (including YOU) I have been able to connect with. I have pulled an insane amount of inspiration from my job at TRIBE de MAMA, as well as through my boss Dori Varga. I also feel that the amount of feminine energy I am introduced to everyday through social media and through the women I work with is a large source of my spiritual and sexual inspiration.
Do you have any reoccuring sexual fantasies?
While I identify as a heterosexual woman, I always seem to think about women when I am pleasuring myself. A reoccurring fantasy of mine is:
A woman (friend) asks to schedule a Reiki appointment with me.
Once I arrive at her place, she asks me if she can be naked while I perform Reiki on her.
I explain to her that my teacher and the teachings of Reiki specifically ask that the person receiving Reiki be fully clothed, but I tell her that for me, it is most important that she is comfortable.
I begin Reiki, and after about 15 minutes, the position I take now is on her breasts.
She opens her eyes and asks me to rub her nipples and so I do. (Gosh I am getting tingly just typing this out!)
It escalates quickly after; she lifts her body up and kisses me, takes my clothes off and I spread her legs and give her the best head of her life. I usually orgasm by this time!
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
I have so many! I recently started an intense and beautiful self-love journey after leaving my home in California while going through a break-up. Here are a few:
- I massage my entire body after every shower with 100% raw organic shea butter
- I take time to meditate (usually three times a week) with an essential oil infuser and light music, after which I - manifest my thoughts and ask myself over and over “WHAT DO I WANT?” and then answer myself.
- I make sure to spend with nature, I have a Siberian husky so I do this every single day.
- Eating well has become a normal part of my life, as well as exercising (yoga, bike riding, walking) and I feel is a very important part of self-care.
- Connecting with other Women; whether spiritually, intellectually, physically, even just to speak, has become very important to me and I feel I couldn’t be on this journey if it wasn’t for them.
Find Alexa on Instagram // @alexapique