Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. I interviewed Arabella about entering womanhood, the women in her life who inspire her sexually and why she believes embracing her sexuality is important.
Occupation: I’m a writer and the Editor of The Ladies Network.
Sexual Orientation: At this stage in my life, heterosexual.
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
Sex was always a bit of a taboo subject in my household, I really wish I had felt more confident talking about it growing up as I think it’s so important for young women to ask questions and feel like it’s not an embarrassing thing to be curious about. Mum always made sure I knew that there was never an excuse for anyone to pressure me into anything and that the decision had to be entirely my own.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
Unfortunately there’s a clear distinction between the period in time that I personally felt like I entered womanhood and the moment that I felt people started deeming me a woman. I think the world pushes girls into womanhood at an increasingly young age when really it’s different for everyone and should be a completely personal experience. There’s no particular moment that I can pinpoint, but I feel like the process of entering ‘womanhood’ was when I started to become aware of my value as a woman and the value of the women around me. When I stopped subscribing to the expectations of my gender and realised the importance of support and solidarity is when I felt I truly felt like a woman.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
I think it’s as important as you want it to be! Personally, for me it’s very important as I feel that our sexuality has been long controlled or dictated to us and embracing our sexuality is, in a sense, reclaiming it.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
This is hard! I’m still in the process of becoming comfortable in my own body, which I think is pretty common for women my age. If I had to choose three I suppose I’d say my legs, stomach and …collarbones? Ask me again when I’m 30 and hopefully my answer will be a lot more confident!
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Empathy, compassion and a sense of humour.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
I’m so lucky to have many. My close friends and I are pretty honest and open with each other. Also, a lot of the women I’ve met and worked with through The Ladies Network (gay, bisexual, trans, straight, non-binary, asexual or otherwise) are super inspiring, empowered and assert their sexuality honestly and creatively.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
The ultimate ritual for self-care for me is taking a whole day off to myself every now and then to have some time to reflect. My perfect self-love day would include taking a long shower, washing my hair, doing a face mask, binge-watching a series on Netflix, going for a walk in the afternoon, doing some writing and then hanging out with my sisters and friends in the evening.