Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Elizabeth about her beautiful relationship with her husband, her love of her own breasts and experience of breast augmentation, things she loves about her body that she's struggled with in the past, and other women who inspire her sexually.
Name: Elizabeth Erickson
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual, with a deep appreciation for the female body
Occupation: Freelance Florist + online floral frock shop
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
My family would often walk around the house naked. My mother especially. I can’t recall her ever talking to me about sex with her words, but she communicated through her body language that it was safe and okay to be sexual. But I didn’t know a lick about sex! Girlfriends and The Care and Keeping of You were all I had. I wish we had talked about sex. I look forward to doing so with my children. More open communication. To feel sexual in your body and own it is one thing, but to be able to communicate with words is holding power for yourself, I believe. I want that for them.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
It wasn’t getting my period. I didn’t feel particularly connected to my body/cycle at that age. No one really talked to me about it. I didn’t understand it, and the media around me made me believe it was something I should consider a pain in the ass. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I started informing myself about honouring my cycle, switching to the sponge and diva cup, which all had a snowball effect on how I viewed myself as a woman. But it wasn’t until I became unexpectedly pregnant with my daughter when I was 25 that I really felt like I entered womanhood and left my maiden chapter behind for the first time. That was an incredible initiation!
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
Very! That fire within the womb space is where all of my creations come from! Whether babies or creative projects. When I feel distant or disconnected from that part of my body, I feel it everywhere else in my life. My sexuality, in essence, feels like my Life force in all that I do.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
Also important! Very much so. It is so important to know what you like and don’t. For yourself and for those you choose to share your body with. To have a sense of confidence in what you want as well as to know the landscape of your own body!
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
The first - my belly! I struggled with my womb centre as a teen and into my early twenties. I believe it stemmed from not knowing how to embrace my cycle/the feminine. I didn’t understand why my belly changed when I was full of blood and bleeding. I didn’t understand that my disconnect with my centre/belly/womb could wreak havoc in how I expressed myself or didn’t emotionally/artistically. My cycles were sporadic. In my early twenties I began to see a Shaman medicine woman and over time she helped me to recover and reconnect with this part of myself. I had my creativity back again for the first time since I was a child, I made space for my belly, I treated it with great reverence, honoured it, and a couple years later would welcome my daughter within it and that began a whole new level of belly love! My cycle even returned and became something I could understand and count on! I am stretched and softened by two little ones now (and I pray for one more), and I love what this sweet, soft place and I have done and come back from together.
The second - My breasts. I love my breasts. They are perky. They are full. They are round. They are a luxury for me. They are the freedom of choice. They are filled with saline. They are a story and they are mine. After I weaned my daughter at 18 months, I had an elective cosmetic breast augmentation to regain my nursing-sized breasts. I made a clear, researched and confident decision; one I had sat on for years out of curiosity, but also felt great shame in for a long time. I wasn’t asking the right questions and couldn’t understand where my curiosity was coming from. Until I started to seriously consider it, did I start asking myself bigger questions and found more resonance and peace in my choice. For as long as I can remember, I have had a fascination with larger breasts, and being the very experimental creature that I am, decided to experiment through modification. It is not to be taken lightly, especially as a mother. I’ve thought long and hard about the conversations that I will have with my son and daughter as to not skew their expectations of what the female body looks like in it’s fully natural state. I do not feel shame or secrecy in my decision to defy nature’s course with my choices. I got exactly what I asked for and did it for me (my boyfriend, now husband), thought I was silly, but supported me. I got the voluptuous feeling that always turned me on about other women, but now I’m the one that turns myself on. I love that.
Third - my hands. So not sexual, but also so. I love people’s hands and all that they show with age and through what we create. My hands have touched every single thing in my life that I have loved, created, struggled with and bounced back from … My babies! My family. My husband. I think that’s so cool!
What are three things you look for in a lover?
A man that loves and respects his mother. Humour! Passion & enthusiasm for all he does, all with who he does it with and for being alive in general. That’s so hot to me! It wasn’t always what I looked for, but when I decided it was what I truly valued, I found it. And I found it in my darling husband.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
It’s really important to us to make time for love-making and being intimate no matter how busy we are with running our family ship. Daytime is my favourite. I’m my most fresh and usually most turned on. By night I’m really tired. And since getting to know my cycle in our Natural Family Planning version of contraception, I am always extra turned on around ovulation, of course.
What turns you on? Like REALLY turns you on?
Breasts. Mine especially. Emotional availability. Birth. When my husband and I lock eyes during chaos. And his smell. Like, I legit sniff his armpits. It’s totally intoxicating. And since living together/becoming parents, small tasks around the house like making our bed, doing the dishes, folding the laundry, cleaning the kids room, really turns me on. It tells me, “I see you, I acknowledge you, I want to help”. Being seen and appreciated is a really big turn on for me. So is watching him do things he’s passionate about. So hot!
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
There once was a woman I knew who was really out there with her sexuality. We don’t flow in the same circles anymore. At first I really resented her for it. It made me uncomfortable. But then I realised that I was actually just jealous, because she had tapped into a language of expression I was keeping myself from and desperately wanted to express/embrace. I no longer feel that way and feel like I embody the aspects of that woman I craved to be. And all I had to do was accept my sexuality. Explore it some more and the rest came naturally. Then there was more of a crone figure of a woman in my life. She was out there in a completely different way of expressing her sexuality. Very natural. Shaved nothing. Very raw. Was extremely open. It was so incredible, intoxicating and inspiring. She is who I feel myself more called to as I grow older, leaving my wild maidenhood behind, and embracing this ripe period of being the mother.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
The primal instinct to mate (with my husband). It’s totally animalistic. It’s our stage right now in having/creating a young family. I’ll be curious to see how our fantasies morph with time and age. That’s exciting. There will always be new, evolving places about each other to explore. Maybe not in the physical sense as much, but emotionally and mentally. I enjoy dominance behind closed doors. I make enough decisions during everyday life. Just ordered our first Shibari rope. I feel experimentation is the fresh nectar of life. Keep things flowing to keep things alive.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
Ooh! Do I love my rituals … I try to make everything about ritual. t started with making food/eating ritualistic. I have to make beautiful food. It nourishes ALL of my senses and cravings when I do. It tells me I’m worth taking the extra effort to do so, instead of just staging something for a holiday dinner, having friends over or a picture. I’ve been doing this since my early twenties. I like to slow down after a shower too, if I’m feeling disconnected from myself and start with rubbing my belly with oil, and just get really kind with myself. Appreciating all my body does for me and the children it’s given me. I write daily too. In the mornings. It’s my most solid thing I do in self-care. Checking in with myself, getting things up, out and off so I can focus on the day ahead. Writing clarifies what I want and what I don’t want. What feels ok, and what I won’t put up with. A clear mind, decisiveness and the confidence to stand by my choices feels like the most radical form of self-love I can give myself!
How can people connect with you?
@theroserambler on IG