Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Mel about childbirth and the moment she entered womanhood, her sexual fantasy that involves her wife and another woman, her love of her boobs, and her wish to make time for more self-pleasure in her life.
Name: Mel Roy
Sexual Orientation : Homosexual
Occupation: Family owns an Italian Restaurant / social media influencer
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
I don't remember ever having a conversation with my mother about sex. This could possibly be why I have always been more of a reserved person with my sexuality.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I remember it so vividly. Forcing out that last push before my daughter's body swam out into this realm we live in. I then reached down into the birthing pool, pulled her onto my chest and THAT was the exact moment for me. I was never in tune with my body before I gave birth. Living the miracle of what a woman can create really brought me to a place I felt so far away from - womanhood.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
EXTREMELY! Too many women in this world don't feel comfortable within themselves and that is primarily due to others judgments or negative thoughts (which leads to their own judgments and negative thoughts). If we all began to embrace our sexuality and give a big "F U" to anyone who has something negative to say about it, we would be on a better Earth.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
This question has me nervous. I am not a 'self-pleasure-er' ... at least not YET. I have just recently began my sensual journey (thank you, Juliet), and this is my new focus. I now know how important it is to feel self pleasure and to show your body love.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)
My boobs - I used to have no interest in them and I never even paid them any attention until I birthed Ero (my daughter). Creating the liquid gold that nourishes my baby girl (and also clears up rashes, ear infections, pink eye, and acne) has been so incredible to me. They are now my favourite body part. Maybe the fact that Vanessa (my wife) loves them so much has also rushed them to the top of my list.
My collar bones - such a sensitive spot. Makes me weak at my knees being kissed there.
My eyes - I really believe I can pass along a message with a stare. Eyes are so powerful and I love what mine can do.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
Being in a lesbian marriage where we each gave birth to a child one right after the other made for a LOOOONNNNGGGGGGG dry season. Thankfully that's over with and now the thrill of trying new things and expanding our knowledge within sex has been my inspiration.
With our little ones attached to us ALL DAY we really only have our nights to ourselves - but it's so worth it.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
Yes ... Juliet! Juliet started me on this journey and it has been amazing to get a glimpse into her mind. We need more empowering women who lift each other up versus those who always tear each other down.
Do you have any rreoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
Me, Vanessa and a 3rd girl. Ughhhhhh I get chills thinking about it. Always been my biggest fantasy. Vanessa and I spoke about this a couple months back and we started asking each other "how would we go about inviting someone into our bed, like what do you say to someone?" Two days later a girl wrote to us asking if we were strictly monogamous and if we would ever be interested in having another girl join us. We couldn't believe it. We put the idea out there and the universe responded.
It still hasn't happened (your life really isn't yours anymore after kids haha), but it will.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
Again, this is my area of focus at the moment. It's hard for me to find time for self-love with how non-stop I am, but I realise that it's extremely important for me to slow down and give myself that. I recently starting looking into meditation and breathing exercises which I am excited to begin.
Eating well has been a big thing for me for almost 2 years now. It is really incredible what a change in diet can do for not only your body but your mind as well.
How can people connect with you? IG? FB? Website?