Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Shaney Marie about being a tantric sex witch, her journey into womanhood through becoming a stripper at age 18, her sexual obsession with dark scary monsters and her love of self-pleasure and sensual exploration.
Name: Shaney Marie
Just plain sexual ... my sexuality is not really boxed. I'm kinda bisexual although I'm in a heterosexual relationship, but I even have my phases of asexuality. I am however also eco-sexual as I explore my energetic erotic connection with trees, food, crystals, fire, my alter objects through my sex magic work ... my sexual orientation has no boundaries, it is limitless really.
Some version of a tantric sex witch women's empowerment guide.
I teach people about the depth of their sacred erotic wisdom but I am also a big creator, I have various projects underway ... I want to be involved in hundreds of incredible and creative offerings, like Richard Branson but rather than planes and stuff my focus is erotica and magic lol .. thats the dream anyway.
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
The relationship I/one has with sexuality goes further back than mother-daughter relating, it is also carried through the genetic blue print.
In my family there has been a lot of fear and disrespect around female sexuality and although it hasn't been spoken about often, I can feel it as I have had to unravel a lot of deep conditioning that I know is not my stuff from this life.
Sex in the matriarchal lines of my family linage have been quite full of fear and contraction. A lot of misunderstanding and dis-empowerment.
My mother is a very sexy woman who has experienced the brunt of being over-sexualised and objectified by ignorant men who lacked any education to know better.
The message I got was BEWARE.
There was a lot of fear around sex with the AIDS epidemic and being a young mum she focused a lot on the importance of not getting pregnant ... so it was either conversations focused on disease, pregnancy OR was joked about with a sense of shame.
I know that the polarisation of my mothers relationship to sexuality and my fathers perversions motivated me to find a better understanding. I sought out the intimate, sacred and conscious links missing from their own education, I sensed that sex was so much more powerful than just erotic desire.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
When I walked into a strip club on my 18th birthday and took control of my life. I was on the benefit, living in a share house and I had no money. Becoming a stripper gave me creative and financial freedom and initiated me into my first stage as an independent young woman ... it was pivotal for me. There has been many initiations and upgrades for me since and I am going through another evolutionary jump with my woman-ness right now in fact ... a deep maturing of my integrated feminine and it feels so amazing!
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
ESSENTIAL. A woman's sexuality is a pathway to her power. However a woman's sexuality is vast and that is what I teach a lot - its not just about vaginal stimulation, it is a whole body, soul and spirit embrace.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
Self pleasure is extremely important however not necessarily in the way many may think ie. genital masturbation.
For me self pleasure is vast, from sensual dance, to deep orgasmic breaths, to seducing chocolate ... self pleasure is a playground of creative options.
For me masturbation is important but at the moment I am mostly exploring myself with a deep healing approach. I am spending a lot of my self pleasure time focused on de-armouring tensions in my vagina and breasts.
It wasn't always like this but it has been for a while now and I feel like it's just where I am at with my shedding of layers and armour after quite a lot of self inflicted unconscious sexual abuse as a younger woman.
I have explored myself sexually a lot, I would spend hours and hours getting to know my pleasure in my early 20s, exploring ejaculation, videoing myself, playing with different implements, watching porn, BDSM experiences, variations on Tantric sex and feel how all of that affected my erotic body. But now it's more about an unlocking of tension, deep feminine receptivity and coming into bliss through relaxation.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
Having a healthy relationship to my breasts. My mother had a terrible relationship with hers as they were extremely big and she recently had a breast reduction which has completely transformed her spirit for the better. However as children do, they take on their parents anxieties and I know that I had some real fear around breast health because of it.
In my offering for women, orgasmic hearts, we really go deep into the loving of our breasts and this has been a huge aspect to my self love and acceptance.
What are three things you look for in a lover?
Darkness, Sensuality, Deep eyes and Innocence.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)?
Newness. New experiences. New friends, new cities, new clothes, new toys, new teachers ... anything refreshing and new inspires my sexual desire.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspires you to be a sexually empowered woman?
Too many to list but at the moment I am totally loving and digging Michaela Boehm.
And all the women I met who experience or want to experience my work. They inspire me to really shine so they can too.
Do you have any reoccurring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
Haha ... ummm monsters, I have a thing for dark, wild, crazy dirty freaky monsters ... I'm not even joking, it's my wild woman speaking.
But I desire mostly to be taken care off, to be bathed, carried, massaged, tied up, cared for in ways where I can totally completely surrender into my pure innocent feminine.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
Having my alter is essential with all my magical objects of meaning on it to keep me in tune.
I do lots of sensual dance and breast massage.
I also spend time doing spell work and casting magic, but those ones are secret to harness the potency.
How can people connect with you?
Shaney Marie https://www.facebook.com/shaneymarie/
Orgasmic hearts https://www.facebook.com/oheartsfemininetantra/
Shaney Marie https://www.instagram.com/shaneymarie_sexwitch/