Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed Shelley about sleeping with another girl at age 8, masturbation as a daily ritual, her sexual fantasies, and her career as a life model.
Sexual Orientation: I mostly identify as a lesbian, however I'm also very fluid when it comes to my identity. If there's a beautiful connection with a person, my sexual orientation doesn't define who I'm attracted too.
Occupation: Art therapist and life model
What was the message your mother gave you about sex as a little girl?
Little to nothing. I had to do my own research, which meant watching porn or reading the sealed section of a magazine, which let's face it....isn't the greatest resource to be education about sex for anyone, let alone a curious young girl. My mum is a shy timid woman who cringes at the fact that I'm nude for art and asks questions like "how do two women even have sex?" Bless her.
Can you identify a moment when you feel you officially entered womanhood?
I was quite young, 8 years old I believe....it was the first time I slept with another girl. Which meant conversing and connecting with her on a deeper level. For me entering womanhood meant standing strong within my own beliefs as a woman and connecting with other women.
How important do you believe it is to embrace your sexuality as a woman?
So very important. It's a huge part of my identity actually - educating myself and other people around me by sending positive messages and sharing stories is a regular thing that I do. I'm so far from shy when it comes to this. I stand strong and proud within my sexuality.
How important is self-pleasure to you?
Oh my, it's a daily routine of mine. Feeling comfortable and confident with pleasing myself is way up there in terms of daily self love and care.
What are three things you love about your body (that perhaps you've struggled with in the past)?
My ass, my lips (both of them) and my breasts ... actually the lot, I love my entire body. I used get teased about being 'too skinny', the words 'anorexic' were thrown at me quite a lot. So as a teen my idea of a great body was warped. But now, as I'm a regular life model, I'm so comfortable and confident with how my body is.
What are three things you look for in a lover? Connection, intelligence and respect.
What inspires you to make love and enjoy sex (either alone, or with a partner)? Do you feel more inclined to enjoy sex at certain times of the day/month/year?
Oh, definitely a strong connection and respect for one another. A good kisser, that's a massive turn on, and just generally a good sexual connection where we can both explore our kinks and fetishes. There is no particular time of the day/month/year for me. If all the right ingredients are there....bring it on baby.
Do you have any particular women in your life who inspire you to be a sexually empowered woman?
Oh fuck yes, there's so many and they're very close to me. I'm surrounded by them constantly and I feel truly grateful for that.
Do you have any reoccuring sexual fantasies? Tell us more:
Oh my, I sure do. I have a lot actually, but I won't go into all of them. ;)
One of them is being a complete sub with the right person who I can trust and they respect me. So they can pretty much fuck me whenever they please.
What rituals do you have for self-care and self-love?
Daily masturbation, talking and hanging out with like-minded people, making art and treating myself to a fancy dinner each week.
How can people connect with you? IG: @shellbonesmurphy