We all want to be experiencing great sex, right? Most of us dream of experiencing lots of fun, healthy, connected, ecstatic sex, preferably on a daily basis … unfortunately though, most of us aren’t experiencing sex this way. One of the big reasons for this is most likely because the majority of us have never been educated about why communication is so important.
It's the middle of Winter in Australia, the perfect time of the year to warm up the body with a libido boosting elixir each morning (aka 'the modern day healthy hot chocolate'). Winter is a time where our body naturally craves warm nourishing drinks and food and my secret (or not so secret) cacao elixir does just that. Not only does it taste delicious, but it also helps boost libido and energy levels ... who would say no to that?!
We all want to be enjoying ecstatic, orgasmic sex every day, right? “Yes!”, I hear you yell. Over the past few years I’ve written 100’s of blog posts about sex, and today I’ve picked my top 30 and put them all in the one place for your sensual reading pleasure.
Over the past few months essential oils have become a huge part of my everyday life, including my sex life. I use the oils in a hot bath, in a diffuser in my bedroom, on my skin as perfume, and in coconut oil as a massage oil and daily moisturiser. I can honestly say the oils have taken my sensual and sexual life to a whole new level of ecstasy!
We’re either doing it, or not doing it. Talking about it, or not talking about it. Thinking about it, or not thinking about it. It’s a topic of discussion amongst the young and old and yet, more often than not, a lot of us struggle with actually having enough energy throughout the day to enjoy intimacy & sex with our partners or, dare I say, with ourselves. There are many factors that need to be considered when thinking about our drive for sex, but for now let’s look at how adding superfoods into your diet can up your libido and zest for life.
Ladies, let’s be completely honest, there’s nothing worse than having a vagina that’s feeling a little ‘under the weather’. An itchy, sore, irritated vagina is downright annoying and if it’s an ongoing challenge it can seriously affect our physical and mental health and wellbeing. Reality is, vaginas are sensitive creatures that need tender loving care all-year-round. Here’s some practical tips on how you can take care of your precious love-making yoni on a daily basis.
Do you ever feel so stressed and busy and tired that you feel like you want to scream and curl up into a tiny ball and cry? I know that feeling well because I’ve always been the ‘strong’ one … the woman who keeps ‘pushing on’ and doesn’t often allow herself to curl into a ball and tell everyone and everything to go away. Feeling this way leaves me feeling vulnerable and fragile … but surprisingly when I allow myself to actually feel my emotion, something magical happens. I feel lighter and, once the heavy feelings have lifted, I feel clearer.
What I’ve discovered about me over the past few months is that I’ve been really great at being the ‘strong’ woman. From a very young age I remember being proud of the fact that I was ‘independent’. This got me through my parent’s divorce, allowed me to travel the world alone at age 17, carried me through the break down of my relationship with my daughter’s father, and then got me through the ongoing homophobia I experienced when I came out as Bisexual and entered into a relationship with a woman.
Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I spoke to Sally about her rituals for self-love, her mother's influence on her view of sex, her relationship with her partner Mitch Gobel and her love of essential oils and swimming in the sea.
Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I interviewed erotic film director, Erika Lust, about orgasms, porn, back massages, body image and masturbation.
Firstly, being busy does not equal success. I believe being busy (and using ‘busy’ as an excuse for not showing up in your life) is a bad excuse for not having an amazing life (including an amazing sex life). Fact is, we make time for what’s important in our lives…if your sex life is important, make time for it. No excuses.
Women On Top is an interview series that features everyday women from around the globe and asks them straight-to-the-point questions about their sexuality. Women On Top aims to inspire and grow a community of women who learn and grow from each other's sexual stories and wisdom. This week I spoke to Lia-Belle about her struggle with body image, what inspires her to make love, her relationship with her wife, clean white sheets and her amazing reoccurring sexual fantasy.
Lately I’ve been feeling like less sex and intimacy than usual, which bothers me. What bothers me more is that instead of taking ownership of my low libido, I realised I’ve been blaming my partner and playing the victim. Victim mentality is dangerous - victim mentality is when a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence.
Ever feel so wrapped up and passionate about your business that it’s a challenge to find time for your relationship and sex life?Feel like you are torn between two lovers, so to speak? Successfully balancing business and pleasure is an art form that requires patience, passion, communication and great health.
It’s no secret that sex is great for your physical and mental, health and wellbeing. Regular, healthy sex is fun, pleasurable andcreates a unique opportunity to experience intimacy and connection with your partner. But what happens when business is busy and your fast-paced entrepreneurial lifestyle zaps you of any energy left to be intimate at the end of the day?
It’s January 1st, and I’m feeling adventurous. On my list of goals for 2016 I have written in bold: ‘Explore My Sexuality Even More’ . Naturally as a Sexologist it’s assumed that I’ve tried and tested almost everything… but the truth is there is always room for new experiences and growth and I truly believe that exploring my sexuality will be a life-long adventure.
So in the spirit of fun and ‘sex education’, I’m adding five new sexual adventures to my own bucket-list in 2016. No, I’m not going to share my personal sexual goals, ‘cos my sex life is mine, and I’m keeping it that way. However for your own pleasure, I have listed five new ideas that you may like to add to your own list. Perhaps you’ve already ticked these off, or you have other ideas that float your boat…either way enjoy 2016 and remember that owning your sexuality and sexual power is God damn sexy.
It’s that time of the year again; I’m sitting on my couch eating leftover Xmas chocolate whilst putting plans into place for the year to come. I truly believe that how I enter the New Year is how the year ahead will unfold, and so with this in mind I'm sharing my top NYE rituals with you upon entering 2016.
Firstly, why use the word ‘Vulva’? The word vulva encompasses the whole kit ‘n kaboodle: the vagina, the inner and outer the lips, the urethra, the anus and the clitoris. You can call it whatever you want; pussy, fanny, fufu, golden gem, vag… but today I’m using the term Vulva.
Unfortunately, many of us barely know what our vulva looks like, never mind believe that it’s amazing and beautiful. Truth is, a lot of women have ‘vulva hang-ups’; fearing that their vulva is too big, too small, too dark in colour, too pink, too ‘flappy’, not ‘flappy’ enough… the list goes on. These hang-ups often transfer into feelings of anxiety when engaging in intimacy and sex with others, with a common fear amongst women that they’re not ‘normal’ down south.
Sex is one of our biggest pleasures in life, and also one of our biggest pass times. Why then, does sex create so much confusion, heartbreak and misunderstanding between lovers? The fact is, women and men are completely different when it comes to sex and brain function.
It’s not always easy to feel sexy everyday. ‘Life’ seems to get in the way and we are dealt with knock-downs; work stress, sleepless nights with kids, death of loved ones, relationship breakdowns, awkward sexual experiences… the list goes on. When life feels hard, feeling sexy doesn’t come naturally. Unfortunately though, the only person who can help you out of the unsexy rut is you.
It’s easy to get caught up in the common myths that circulate in society about sex. As taboo as the topic is, it seems people love gossiping about the ‘rights and wrongs’ and the ins and outs (pardon the pun) of sex and relationships. Today, I’m here to debunk my top 3 myths and clear up the little lies that we seem to tell ourselves about what should be a normal, natural and healthy part of life.
t seems that in today’s day and age, the topic of condoms still remains largely taboo. Many people feel as uncomfortable talking about condoms, as they do talking about sex. So why is it that people don’t feel comfortable talking about them, and more importantly, why aren’t they using them regularly?
Myths about condom usage are common in our society and a lack of education is responsible for the increasing jump in STI and HIV rates in young Australians. Which leads me to debunking my top 3 condoms myths:
Why is it that so many men (and women) feel like it’s ok to avoid using condoms? Listen up people, the rates of STI’s and HIV are rapidly rising in Australia, and yet many of us still think it’s OK to waltz around the bedroom naked without even the thought of using protection.
Just like different styles of sex, sleeping naked isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. In fact according to a recent study in the US, only 8% of Americans sleep naked. This statistic seems extremely low, which inspired me to write about what I see as the upside of spending more time in the nude.
We all know what it’s like when life gets stressful…our emotional and physical health takes a dive and before long we find ourselves feeling like crap. All of us at some stage in life will experience major life events that increase our stress levels - illness, death of loved ones, work stress, sleepless nights with kids, failed friendships, broken hearts. The fact of the matter is that stress affects all areas of our lives, and often times, it ends up affecting our sex life.
It seems we are all getting a little caught up in the daily grind and forgetting the importance of regular, healthy, pleasurable sex. Life is becoming more and more busy and feeling dissatisfied with sex is a common complaint amongst many. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, increasing your sexual happiness will do wonders for your overall physical and mental health and wellbeing. With this in mind, I have come up with 3 simple steps that give you a chance to boost your sexual happiness today:
Holistic sex education in Australian schools is scarce. If education does take place, it’s limited to the bare essentials - how to put a condom on a banana, alongside various scare tactics surrounding the contraction of STI’S, HIV and unplanned pregnancy. In no way am I suggesting that the aforementioned topics are not important, (because they are) but what about all the other stuff?
Holistic sex education in Australian schools is scarce. If education does take place, it’s limited to the bare essentials - how to put a condom on a banana, alongside various scare tactics surrounding the contraction of STI’S, HIV and unplanned pregnancy. In no way am I suggesting that the aforementioned topics are not important, (because they are) but what about all the other stuff? Communication skills (i.e. how to say no and how to say yes), consent, same-sex relationships and attraction, not to mention the fact that sex can be pleasurable and fun aren’t readily discussed. These essential topics are nowhere to be seen in the current curriculum and teenagers are often left to feel their way (pardon the pun!) through the ins and outs of sex and sexuality.
With this in mind, I believe it’s up to us as parents to lead the way and have the ability to sufficiently and confidently educate our children about sex and intimacy. (Aka ‘the talk’.) Easier said than done, right? It’s natural for parents to struggle with how to approach the topic in the ‘right’ way and the truth is, there is no ‘right’ way - you have to do what feels right for you as the parent.