3 lessons I learnt from a Shamanic Tantrica


I’ve always wanted to explore Tantra and yet I’ve never met the right teacher who I truly connect with. Enter Dakini Chantelle; a gorgeous Shamanic Tantrica who I instantly loved. Chantelle is beautiful, authentic & says it like it is. There's no fluffing about with this woman; she's honest, powerful and real! Chantelle travels the world facilitating workshops and private healing sessions for people who want to tap into their true authentic selves.

I met up with Chantelle in Byron Bay in March for an afternoon of sacred Tantric healing and left with a shifted perspective on life and relationships. I learnt so much from my afternoon (and subsequent healing sessions) with Chantelle…more than I can imagine. Below are three of the most significant lessons that she taught me:

1. Our relationship is a foursome

Within us all is the masculine and the feminine. This means that there are four of us interacting; my masculine and my partner’s masculine, my feminine and my partner’s feminine, my feminine and my partner’s masculine, and my masculine and my partner’s feminine. This goes for both heterosexual and same-sex couples. This simple insight gave me a great understanding of my own relationship and made me realise how important it is to be in touch with both sides of myself. This one lesson has transformed my relationship with my partner. 

Through my session with Chantelle I realised that I've been spending a lot of my time in my masculine energy within my relationship with my fiancee. As a same-sex couple we've found it hard navigating our way through gender roles and it's caused a lot of upset, dis-ease and misunderstanding between us. Chantelle helped me realise that I haven't been dropping into my feminine energy enough, and this is why I have spent 4 years intermittently craving a man in my bed.

As a couple we are now working on our inner masculine and inner feminine; my partner is learning about how she can drop into her masculine and hold space and presence for me to be in my feminine. I'm so excited to discover what unfolds now that we have learnt this about ourselves.

2. Sex isn’t just friction and orgasm

We place so much emphasis on friction and orgasm and yet there is so much more to sex than this. Sex is an exchange of energy between our masculine and feminine and is a way to connect with all emotion including pain, ecstasy, anger, peace and sadness. Sex is a portal that allows us connect with the Divine.

All-too-often I feel like I have engaged in sex purely for the end result of orgasm and not allowed myself to take my love-making to a whole new level. Yes, there's a time and a place for a good f*ck, but there's also room for sacred union between myself and my lover.

If you're interested in reading more about his idea, I recommend two books that we are reading by David Deida;  Finding God Through Sex and The Way of The Superior Man.

3.  It’s important to really feel our pain instead of ignoring it

Over the past few days I’ve been reading lots about actually feeling my emotions and expressing them all the way. All too often we stuff down negative emotions…distracting ourselves with other ‘stuff’ instead of identifying them, validating them and truly feeling them. I have a lot to work on in this area of my life and feel really blessed that I have found a teacher who can show me the way. Read Chantelle's blog post about this topic.

*Experience Tantra with Dakini Chantelle at the Song Of Tantra Retreat in Byron Bay