Are you a lady-in-waiting? Or are you a Queen, ready for a King?

 
 

Are you a lady in waiting attracting the prince who's looking good and going nowhere? Or are you a Queen ready for a King? 

The lady in waiting can have a little bit of power by sleeping with a man and enchanting him with her sexuality.  She can also have a little bit of power by meeting a man's desires, expectations and ideas of how his ideal woman should behave. 

But she doesn't have legitimate power, because she is giving 80 per cent and he is only giving 20 per cent.

The Queen has legitimate power because The Queen does not wait. She attracts a King who is willing to go the extra distance. 

The lady in waiting does just that ... waits and serves the needs of the prince so he is not displeased with her because if he is, the very horse he rode in and rescued her on is now heading in the opposite direction. She is terrified of that. The prince doesn't have to stretch, because the princess depends on him. He has all the power because he knows how terrified she is that he will leave and never return. This is not legitimate power however, because it is derived from ego, not from loving awareness and a strong self-responsible will. 

The Prince says all the right things ... but he is looking good and going nowhere, attracting a princess who is crying in longing from her ivory tower as he regularly rides off into the distance, taking advantage of her open waiting heart. 'Please love me', she calls ... 'Keep waiting', his silence tells her.  She waits until she sees him again and he becomes more of an addiction than someone whom she can truly trust and feel safe to grow old with. 

She eventually can't take the waiting any longer so she decides to jump from her ivory tower and face her fear of death.  

She has faced death. 

She no longer needs to be rescued. 

Spirit manifests as her new horse and when she meets her King, they meet as equals.

The King and the Queen, perhaps interchangeable with the Priest and Priestess, no longer need to grasp or pull away, nor do they feel the egoic need to rescue or be rescued.  Their only need is to keep showing up in love and presence. Presence and Love as embodied words.

What does embodied love and presence look like in personal day to day relating? 

It means that sometimes, even when the King does feel like responding to his Queen, or feel like being close to her, he is willing to do this so as to honour and meet her emotional needs for intimacy and closeness. That means addressing the part of him that doesn't want to respond or be close, the part of him that wants to pull away from fear of enmeshment. 

It means that sometimes, even when the Queen does feel not like being alone or feel like giving the King space, she is willing to do this so as to honour and meet his existential need for freedom and spaciousness. That means addressing the part of her that doesn't want to be alone, the part of her that acts crazy from fear of abandonment. 

There is a consistency and commitment in honouring each other's needs equally in this relationship so as to create balance and fuel for service. 

Author: Chantelle Boscarello