Sex, Love & Hormones

Sex is one of our biggest pleasures in life, and also one of our biggest pass times. Why then, does sex create so much confusion, heartbreak and misunderstanding between lovers? The fact is, women and men are completely different when it comes to sex and brain function.

Research has found that when a woman is in the midst of orgasm, up to 30 different parts of her brain are activated, including those responsible for emotion, touch, joy, satisfaction and memory. The key hormone released during sex is oxytocin (also known as the ‘cuddle’ hormone). Higher levels of oxytocin are released in women, which explains why women are more trusting post sex and why they are more inclined to feel ‘loved up’ once a sexual relationship has begun.

The common challenge that arises is that oxytocin is released every time we have sex and the hormone definitely doesn’t discriminate between one-night-stands, and long-term marriages. So while this may be a positive for intimate, committed relationships, it can cause havoc for a woman’s emotions when a one-night-stand doesn’t develop into a relationship. Men, on the other hand, receive a surge of dopamine during orgasm (aka the pleasure hormone), hence when this surge happens they can get addicted to the pleasure they feel over and over.

So how do we avoid the confusion and potential heartbreak that accompanies sexual relationships? Communication is the number one key…whether you are in love, or it’s a one-night-stand, it’s important that both parties express what they are expecting from sex before the sex actually happens. Now I know this may be easier when the sex is between two people who are in love, but it doesn’t have to be awkward if it’s just casual sex. Remember that talking about sex is about self-respect and self-love…save yourself some confusion and know why and who you are jumping into bed with and the sex will be a whole lot more pleasurable (and there will be a lot less confusion post-sex).

Published on the HERO Condoms Blog in November, 2015