Deep Fear, Vulnerability & Being Seen In My Truth
Today I'm feeling to talk about vulnerability and sharing our truth as individuals. I'm sharing about this because it's something that I'm exploring deeply within myself and it keeps showing up in my life as a challenge.
You see, I share a lot of myself on social media and with my friends, but often when it comes to intimate relationships, I've noticed I hold back a little ... it's like I don't want to be 'too much' - too opinionated, too sexual, too business-focussed, too spiritual, too loving, too alternative, too mainstream, too crazy, too horny, too hippy ... fucking hell, it's crazy how we can judge ourselves and keep ourselves small just to please others.
So, I've been doing some deep enquiry as to why I do this. And it comes down to fear of rejection and abandonment. AND, on the other spectrum, fear of being seen and met in my EVERYTHING and have my lover stay and witness and be present in all that I am. So much fear!
Today I feel I had a huge shift around this story I've been telling myself for so many years ... it's like my story around worthiness has shifted and my own inner union is feeling integrated to the point that the fear is dissipating and I'm beginning to truly feel that I am worthy of being met in ALL four centres, and am worthy of being received in ALL THAT I AM. This means BIG, happy, amazing changes for me!
Arggggggggg! It even feels vulnerable writing this on here, but fuck it, this isn't really about me. This is a deep core wound for so many of us as individuals. It's a collective piece within all of humanity and it needs to be healed.