The Art of Authentic Relating & Speaking Your Truth

Artist // Alexa Coe

Artist // Alexa Coe

How much of yourself are you sharing with your lover/beloved/partner, and how much are you holding back? To what extent do you shrink parts of yourself to fit in and avoid being ‘too much’ - too emotional, too crazy, too loving, too sexual, too loud, too quiet, too opinionated, too honest, too needy ... etc?

I’m asking these questions because all too often we (myself included) push parts of ourselves down in fear of scaring our partner away, or in fear of our partner not being able to embrace and love ALL of us - the good, the bad and the fucking ugly.

Reality is, it’s easy to be the pretty, funny, sexy, cool one (this goes for women AND men) ... it’s easy to go with the flow and push down emotions that come up, or not speak about desires that aren’t being met. It’s easy for a while ... but what happens when we don’t bring ALL of ourselves to the table is we push stuff down, which leads to us being completely inauthentic, which hastily leads to a surfacey relationship, which leads to us feeling fucking unhappy, unmet and eventually manifests in physical sickness. Sound familiar?

You may think you’re bringing ALL of you to the table in your relationship (and maybe you are), but I challenge you to take two minutes right now to feel into what it is you’re hiding, what it is that is left unsaid and what it is that you avoid sharing with your lover? Perhaps it’s the fact you push down tears when feeling upset, or you’re not expressing sexual desires, or not asking for what you need to feel safe to express your deepest truth ... it doesn’t matter what it is, if it’s part of you, and important, then I encourage you to reveal that to that special person that you share yourself with.

Have the difficult conversations - express all of you. Ask for what you need. Speak about what your heart desires. Set boundaries. Cry. Scream. Express your deepest heart felt
And trust that your partner can hold space for you to do that. And if they can’t, then it’s only because they don’t know how, and so you are the catalyst for them to learn how to show up and fucking LOVE all of you. You are in their life to initiate them into a deeper level of intimacy, connection and emotional depth. Trust that you are worthy of this depth, of being loved in a way that embraces and supports your light, your dark and your ugly. This is authentic relating and this depth in relationship is what we all truly long for again and again and again.

You may also enjoy reading

Juliet Allen