Am I Bisexual? Un-Defining My Sexuality In A World Full Of Labels

Artist / Laurie Franck

Artist / Laurie Franck

So, are you bisexual? Or are you more heterosexual than bisexual? Or what about that time you ‘turned lesbian?’, is that phase over now?

On a weekly basis I’m asked different versions of the above questions about my sexuality. And rightly so, people are naturally curious about sexuality and love to use labels to define human beings, thus placing us in boxes so that we can better understand each other. But what if labels were taken out of the equation, and we began to identify with being purely sexual?

You see, the problem I face with labelling sexuality is the following: We are all unique individuals who are completely undefinable in any given moment. Many of us simply enjoy connecting with other human beings, regardless of whether the people we connect with have a penis or vagina. I believe we all deserve to have a choice, and we deserve to connect with whoever we want sexually.

Personally, who I choose to sexually connect with is about how I’m feeling in that given moment, and how I connect with that person isn’t just based on a physical attraction (although I do admit that’s a huge part of it). At different stages in my life I’ve definitely fallen into the trap of labelling myself a certain way, more often than not, ‘bisexual’. Reflecting on this I believe I’ve put myself in an LGBTIQ category only to shut people up, plus at some stages in my life it’s actually helped me to feel comfortable being highly sexual, especially in a world of people who struggle to understand this way of being.

So, how do we move through life in a world full of labels and limiting LGBTIQ alphabets? Well, we fully embrace ourselves as purely sexual beings, and we completely own that and lovingly feel into our unique sexual flavour on a daily basis. And when more of us begin to embrace our sexuality in this way, we will inspire others to do the same, and there will be less pressure on individuals to have to define themselves and limit themselves to being boxed into being a certain way and sleeping with a certain person.

So, next time you ask someone about their sexuality, I invite you to open up the conversation with more inclusive and open questions: 

Who do you enjoy connecting with? Who are you feeling attracted to in this moment? What are you open to sexually? What type of sex are you wanting to experience in your life? What type of sexual connection are you seeking in this moment?

Sexuality, LgbtJuliet Allen