3 Relationship Mistakes That Need To Stop


We are all challenged by intimate long-term relationships at some stage in our life. The important thing is to identify what mistakes we are making, and resolve them as quick as possible. Here are 3 common relationship mistakes, and how to solve them.

Work/Life Balance

Relationships require continual love and nurturing. Never assume that your relationship is ‘safe’ just because you’ve been committed to each other for years. It’s common for long-term relationships to become stale and boring because people stop having fun together and get stuck in the work and family routine. What’s the solution? Schedule in couples time, family time, holidays together, a regular date night… time together to sit and do nothing. Yes, life gets busy, but making time for your partner and family needs to be your number one priority if you want your relationship to last the distance.

Dwindling Sex Life

Great sex needs time, energy and education. Couples often assume that sex should come easy, but the reality is that life gets hectic and family and work commitments take over. Often couples get bored with each other and seek sex outside of the relationship. To avoid this happening in your relationship, it’s important that you both talk about what you need, want and desire. Talk about what turns you on, what you like, what you fantasise about. Don’t be afraid to be honest with your partner…being honest means that you are being true to your self (and who knows, you may just get what you want and be more satisfied than if you had said nothing).

Criticism and Blaming

Criticising and blaming your partner on an ongoing basis is toxic. I know it’s challenging, but try to look for the good in their actions. Reality is, they are human, and they won’t always get everything right…plus they’re likely to be stuck in their own feelings of fear, doubt and limiting self-belief. The truth is, criticism and blame is always a projection of unresolved issues within yourself. For example, your fear of failure may mean that if your partner is “not getting it right” then they may fail and by association you fail. It’s time to take a long hard look at yourself and give your partner, and yourself, a break from the criticism and blame.

Published in the Gold Coast Bulletin September, 2015

RelationshipsJuliet Allen