Let’s expand on our definition of foreplay beyond just the physical (although that is also a truly sensual and pleasurable thing that deserves more airtime). Here are 3 hot tips for anyone who wants to connect deeply with a partner/lover and can be practised anytime, not just in the initiation of sex.
Read MoreClass is in session.
Read MoreIf you want to use dating apps mindfully, you have to approach them with authenticity.
Read MoreYou’ve probably heard of breath work for stress relief, but what about for better orgasms?
Read MoreIt’s a common challenge in long-term relationships; all of a sudden ‘life’ seems to get in the way of mind-blowing sex and we are caught in something I like to call a ‘sex rut’. Ewwwwww… a sex rut, sounds shocking, doesn’t it. The fact is, many couples reading this are nodding their heads and agreeing that their sex life has turned to crap.
Read MoreOne of the biggest questions I get asked as a sexologist is ‘How do my partner and I take sex from f*cking… to making love?’ Unfortunately, there’s no simple and easy way to answer this question because each couple is different, and each individual brings their own ‘stuff’ into the relationship. By ‘stuff’, I mean challenges from the past; childhood trauma, abuse, past relationship baggage…all the pain experienced as a human that is left unresolved, pushed down and not dealt with. Much of this pain prevents us from getting close to our partner. By close, I mean truly intimate, connected and spiritually united.
Read MoreWhat I’ve discovered about me over the past few months is that I’ve been really great at being the ‘strong’ woman. From a very young age I remember being proud of the fact that I was ‘independent’. This got me through my parent’s divorce, allowed me to travel the world alone at age 17, carried me through the break down of my relationship with my daughter’s father, and then got me through the ongoing homophobia I experienced when I came out as Bisexual and entered into a relationship with a woman.
Read MoreFirstly, I believe we need to be honest and open with our children. This means no silly stories about ‘stalks’ bringing babies, and no ignoring the fact that your children are being exposed to sex via media and porn from a very young age. If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex to your children, this is a sign that you yourself need to work on your own ‘stuff’ that prevents you from being able to talk to your own children about it. Go see a therapist, read about sex, educate yourself, and deal with any past trauma that’s preventing you from being comfortable with the topic.
Read MoreWhen we choose to be in romantic relationship with another human, we choose to bare our soul and open our heart… all the while knowing that it may not work, it may not be the ‘forever fairytale’ we heard of as children, and it may, in the end, break our fu*cking heart to tiny little pieces. Yet knowing all this, we still enter into relationship… because there’s nothing quite like love and sex and all the fun stuff that relationship entails.
Read MoreMany clients come to me and report that sex is boring … it’s quick and very orgasm focussed and there’s something missing. Often my clients can’t pinpoint what is missing, but they know that there must be more to sex than what they’re experiencing. That something is the connection and intimacy that they unconsciously desire with their partner/lover and they don't know it's missing because they've never experienced it before.
Read MoreWhy is it that people are hung up on the LGBTIQ labels? My belief is that labels box us into categories… which in turn gives the people around us some sort of understanding about who we are and where we ‘fit’ in. I don’t like the concept of labels, my wish is that we respect each other as humans and our sexuality doesn’t have to come into the equation if we are anything other than ‘straight’. But hey, labels are a huge part of our world, so what does that mean if we don’t seem to fit into any specific LGBTIQ category?
Read MoreLadies, let’s be completely honest, there’s nothing worse than having a vagina that’s feeling a little ‘under the weather’. An itchy, sore, irritated vagina is downright annoying and if it’s an ongoing challenge it can seriously affect our physical and mental health and wellbeing. Reality is, vaginas are sensitive creatures that need tender loving care all-year-round. Here’s some practical tips on how you can take care of your precious love-making yoni on a daily basis.
Read MoreDuring sex, the body's energy may become stagnant, heavy, or stuck. Biting, slapping and pinching can be used to stimulate energy in the nervous system and rouse a listless or sluggish body into more energetic ecstasy. Sometimes a little bit of pain, skilfully and lovingly administered, can greatly increase pleasure. Use this means freely, with real love and careful sensitivity. These techniques are simply aspects of creative sexual loving and should be used equally by men and women.
Read MoreSo, are you bisexual? Or are you more heterosexual than bisexual? Or what about that time you ‘turned lesbian?’, is that phase over now?
On a weekly basis I’m asked different versions of the above questions about my sexuality. And rightly so, people are naturally curious about sexuality and love to use labels to define human beings, thus placing us in boxes so that we can better understand each other. But what if labels were taken out of the equation, and we began to identify with being purely sexual?
Read MoreI’ve always been very vocal when making love and f*cking. No one taught me to be vocal, I just naturally allow sound to flow during sex, especially when I climax. When I was younger I thought every woman used sound (moaning, screaming, talking, whispering) to amplify her sexual experience … until I made love to a woman who was very quiet and controlled with her vocals … this experience gave me an insight into how unique our sexual experiences are, and so I wondered, 'is orgasm and sex more powerful if sound is used?'.
Read MoreHint: it starts outside the bedroom.
Read MoreImagine a dating world where you get to skip all the nerves, question marks and anxious uncertainty, and instead clearly communicate exactly what you’re seeking with a new lover from the moment they come into your life. And I mean communicate it prior to meeting, being super clear about what you want, desire and need. Sounds upfront, but it works ... trust me.
Read MoreLadies, it’s time to honour our vagina’s and treat them like the divine and exquisite temple that they are, allowing only amazing energy and love to enter our sacred space. All too often we as a women don’t give our pussy the love that it needs and deserves. When we neglect our pussy it overflows into us not enjoying our sexuality in it’s fullness, and we definitely don’t reap the full benefits and pleasure of sex and love-making with others.
Read MoreIs Tantric sex a ‘thing’ for women who have sex with women? How can we have deeper intimacy and ecstatic sex on a regular basis? My sex life with my woman is stale, how can I bring back the excitement? Every week I get questions from women who have sex with women about how they can experience better, more connected sex (on a regular basis). I myself have explored the world of Tantra with a female lover, and so I’m here to impart some secrets I’ve learnt along the way about Tantric lesbian sex.
Read More
