There’s a time and a season for everything. Including sex.
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After 10+ years in the industry, I regularly get asked two things: “What to look for in a great sex and relationship coach?” And “Any hot tips for people wanting to become a coach in the industry?”. Here’s some of my thoughts (and opinions) on the topic!
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Stuck in your head during sex? Anxious? Agitated? Here’s 4 grounding practices to shift your energy and make a change. Start today
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This is really, really important stuff to learn!
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These days it’s easy to get caught up in the ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ of orgasm and pleasure. There is so much advice flying about on the internet that both women and men are often left wondering how the hell they can best please themselves and their partners. Female orgasm in particular is portrayed as a mysterious and personal experience and there are definitely some common orgasm myths that need to be debunked.
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What I’ve discovered about me over the past few months is that I’ve been really great at being the ‘strong’ woman. From a very young age I remember being proud of the fact that I was ‘independent’. This got me through my parent’s divorce, allowed me to travel the world alone at age 17, carried me through the break down of my relationship with my daughter’s father, and then got me through the ongoing homophobia I experienced when I came out as Bisexual and entered into a relationship with a woman.
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Firstly, I believe we need to be honest and open with our children. This means no silly stories about ‘stalks’ bringing babies, and no ignoring the fact that your children are being exposed to sex via media and porn from a very young age. If you feel uncomfortable talking about sex to your children, this is a sign that you yourself need to work on your own ‘stuff’ that prevents you from being able to talk to your own children about it. Go see a therapist, read about sex, educate yourself, and deal with any past trauma that’s preventing you from being comfortable with the topic.
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Why is it that people are hung up on the LGBTIQ labels? My belief is that labels box us into categories… which in turn gives the people around us some sort of understanding about who we are and where we ‘fit’ in. I don’t like the concept of labels, my wish is that we respect each other as humans and our sexuality doesn’t have to come into the equation if we are anything other than ‘straight’. But hey, labels are a huge part of our world, so what does that mean if we don’t seem to fit into any specific LGBTIQ category?
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So, are you bisexual? Or are you more heterosexual than bisexual? Or what about that time you ‘turned lesbian?’, is that phase over now?
On a weekly basis I’m asked different versions of the above questions about my sexuality. And rightly so, people are naturally curious about sexuality and love to use labels to define human beings, thus placing us in boxes so that we can better understand each other. But what if labels were taken out of the equation, and we began to identify with being purely sexual?
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Ladies, it’s time to honour our vagina’s and treat them like the divine and exquisite temple that they are, allowing only amazing energy and love to enter our sacred space. All too often we as a women don’t give our pussy the love that it needs and deserves. When we neglect our pussy it overflows into us not enjoying our sexuality in it’s fullness, and we definitely don’t reap the full benefits and pleasure of sex and love-making with others.
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Being a Sexually Empowered Human means fully embracing your sexuality, your sex centre and your desire for life-changing sex. It means fully owning your deep yearning for connection, intimacy and wild fucking. You don’t feel the need to ‘dress’ sexy, because your sexiness isn’t reliant on what you wear, or what clothing size you are … you are sexy from the moment you wake up in your most raw and natural essence and way of being and moving in your body and spirit.
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Without a doubt all women seek to feel more sexually empowered at different stages in their lives. For some of us, sexual confidence comes naturally, for others, it doesn’t flow as easily. Either way is perfectly normal and there’s definitely no ‘rights and wrongs’ when it comes to sexuality and sexual confidence. The good news is that if you’re feeling a little disempowered, sexual empowerment can be learnt.
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She is a woman, who, through ritual or psychological development, has come to know the spiritual side of her sexuality, her true eroticism, and lives this out according to her individual circumstances. The Sacred Slut resides within us all, both women and men - she’s not ashamed of her sexuality, she embraces it all and owns that part of herself.
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As women, when we allow ourselves to be penetrated by another, we open our pussy and womb space (and quite possibly mouth and ass) up to the consciousness of our chosen lover. We take them into us physically and, we take them into us energetically. We absorb their consciousness into our entire being. Often when this happens we open ourselves up to all sorts of emotions and feelings that impact us on a deep level in both positive and negative ways.
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Sextrology: The Astrology of Sex
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Lately I’ve been feeling like less sex and intimacy than usual, which bothers me. What bothers me more is that instead of taking ownership of my low libido, I realised I’ve been blaming my partner and playing the victim. Victim mentality is dangerous - victim mentality is when a person tends to regard him or herself as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave like it were the case—even in the absence of clear evidence.
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I’ve been in a committed relationship with my beautiful fiancé for 4 years. When we met and began dating I never expected us to one-day be engaged to marry…and yet here I am, planning a lifetime together with another woman.
From the outside, our relationship appears to be a magical gay fairytale: two beautiful women fall in love and live happily-ever-after with daughter and dog. In reality, it’s not always that straight-forward, in fact our relationship goes through major ups and downs, just like any other couple.
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I’m a big fan of self-pleasure; I was fortunate enough to discover my ‘pleasure spot’ at a young age and haven’t looked back since. I feel truly blessed that masturbation feels natural and that making myself cum has always been relatively easy.
Over the years though, I have discovered many women who have had a rough trot with masturbation; stories of shame and guilt (often somewhat associated with religion, surprise surprise), of the inability to reach orgasm through self-pleasure and women who just don’t feel the desire to pleasure themselves at all. All of the above feelings are completely normal and, if they resonate with you, believe me; you are not alone.
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